SURRENDER THAT...

Been going through so much since my last post. Why is it you see where you are supposed to go but it is so hard to get there. The obstacles have been very heavy. Laying them down daily, but as I to surrender the deep wounds in my heart it just does not stop. I am in agreement. Take these things Lord but as they begin to surface it is very very hard, a festering mess of healing. This is what healing looks like. Well my usual response is, no way. I thought I wanted to go there but maybe next week. Very similar to other good things I want to do for myself. I want to let go of caffine, sugar and alcohol for 30 days but as soon as I get started the fear of letting go of the crutch sinks in. How will I get by without my daily cup of joe or that glass of wine in the evening and the countless moments I have with sugar and salt during the day. So today I surrender all of that and pray that you cleanse me Lord and I am ready for anything.

MERCYME -:- CLICK HERE Incredible weekend spent with sisters in the spirit. I can feel his presence here with me now. This song echos moments with my MASTER KING OF KINGS sweet JESUS JEHOVAH RAPHA I love YOU I love SURRENDERING TO YOU LOVE. Reaching out to all of the ladies. Remember to get back into His presence, the Holy of Holies. We want to see your face and the courtyard is no longer an option. I struggled a bit yesterday and today walking in defensiveness, so I am letting go of my expectations of others and receiving more and more of the LOVE of Christ in. So throw off the enemy and send it to the pit and stand with me on the eternal promises of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

The Promise: "I'll live in them, move into them, I'll be their God and they'll be my people. So leave the corruption and compromise; leave it for good," says God. "Don't link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I'll be a Father to you; you'll be sons and daughters to me." The Word of the Master, God." The Call: " Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off; don't frustrate God's work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we're doing. Our work as God's servants gets validated—or not—in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and wh...

2 Timothy 1:7 How often to words manifest. I am striving to have the my thoughts held captive, in His possession, with Christ, but it is so hard to do. When the challenge of personal attack (correction) comes up with me my fear rises up. My old way was to suppress. If someone told me I was wrong, it must be the TRUTH. I searched for my mistake and then even created a scenario that matched my critics description. I am wrong. The very small part of me that thought there are two sides to every confrontation was pushed aside and I accepted blame and began looked for my opportunity for restitution. How could I: restore, put back, reinstate, replace, reseat, rehabilitate, reestablish, reestate, reinstall, reconstruct, rebuild, reorganize, reconstitute; reconvert; renew, renovate; regenerate; rejuvenate. redeem, reclaim, recover, retrieve; rescue... There must be a way I could: redress, recure; cure, heal, remedy, medicate; break out of; bring round, resuscitate, revive, reanimate, revivify,...

Psalm 51:7 "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow" Psalm 51:7 (The Message) Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life. Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. Don't look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise.

What is it with fear. My mind sets me up for failure. Sometimes I quite before I get the chance to start. The WHAT IFS set in, the fatigue wells up in my body, I start thinking about when it will be over and how there is no way I can do it. I can do it. I must stay in the moment by moment. Letting go. Breathing in FREEDOM waiting to exhale fear and guilt and shame. These have me frozen and imprisoned in my past. The TRUTH is I am not in my past. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here! I am here. The new is here and in me. The old is in the past. Old sin, old ways, old thoughts, old tapes. Be gone with you. Uproot these Lord. I lay down at your feet and cry HOLY HOLY HOLY LORD GOD OF POWER AND MIGHT. Heal me. Heal me deep within the bowels. leviathan spirit you cannot hide. GET OUT. in the name of the FATHER the SON and the HOLY SPIRIT.

Most people start on a fresh page, clean slate on January first. This was a little hard for me this year. John 17:17 " Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth." In on August 14th with knowing that God had my tiny hand in his, I stepped into 20 weeks to freedom. I thought of it as an experiment. Get back into the word, get accountability, look at myself and what I could change. It was a FLOOD of clarity. Immediately connected with a friend to birth the concept of BODY IN MOTION. Connected with Life Group and removed the obstacle of being in community. I am a spirt walker. I have gifts. I am called to use them. What is the obstacle. Each time I step into my PASSON and PURPOSE, the storm comes. If it was just me I could press in and endure all, but I have my little men and my husband. When I rise to the call the enemy sends the counter attack. Up until now it has been too hard. When my babies are suffering, my marriage struggling, my natural reaction is to pull back. Not ...

It is amazing how two years with four little boys flies by. So today I am staying in the moment and surrendering the"busy"ness that comes with a house hold and business to manage. Today I am getting out there and having fun cause my little men are growing up. I am going to slow down long enough to hug my mans neck and see what a sunset looks like. I think I forgot.

Thinking about the Matrix. Neo and Trinity rarely had to engage with those attacking them. They saw the attack coming and moved out of its way. How often does a criticism come my way and I am ready to fight, ready to defend, ready to hurt as I have been hurt. I stand in front of the bullet and even lunge into it, giving me the ok to come back with greater force. It is as if I enjoy being positioned to destroy my opponent, defend myself. This is DEFENSIVENESS. What is the root of this in me Lord. Help me to see and go back to its inception. Let me rely on your protection and yield to attacking words. Let me step aside and let your truth be strong in my heart. With this strength in me surely I can bend and sway from fiery darts that fly and stand in peace. stand in peace..

Jeremiah 1:9-11 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.” The word of the LORD came to me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?” “I see the branch of an almond tree,” I replied. I see this uprooting is happening in my spirit first. Lord uproot the bitterness and tear down the anger, destroy the guilt and overthrow the shame in my heart so that I might build and plant love and peace and patience and selfcontrol. I am listening and I respond to your call. You have appointed me over nations and kingdoms to uproot and restore. The word of the LORD came to me: "what do you see Jennifer?"

I am trying to do that right now.=---- Choose wisely the people you TRUST while in SURVIVAL  I can tell you all about this SOON