2 Timothy 1:7
How often to words manifest. I am striving to have the my thoughts held captive, in His possession, with Christ, but it is so hard to do. When the challenge of personal attack (correction) comes up with me my fear rises up. My old way was to suppress. If someone told me I was wrong, it must be the TRUTH. I searched for my mistake and then even created a scenario that matched my critics description. I am wrong. The very small part of me that thought there are two sides to every confrontation was pushed aside and I accepted blame and began looked for my opportunity for restitution. How could I:
restore, put back, reinstate, replace, reseat, rehabilitate, reestablish, reestate, reinstall,
reconstruct, rebuild, reorganize, reconstitute; reconvert; renew, renovate; regenerate; rejuvenate.
redeem, reclaim, recover, retrieve; rescue...
There must be a way I could:
redress, recure; cure, heal, remedy, medicate; break out of; bring round, resuscitate, revive,
reanimate, revivify, recall to life, reinvigorate, refresh, make whole; recoup,
make good, make all square; rectify; put right, put to rights, set right, set to rights, set straight,
set up, correct; put in order, refit, recruit, reinforce, repair, retouch, revamp, patch,
stop the gap, bind up wounds.
My desperate attempt to make it right...was wrong. Only Jesus love can fill in the gap and bind up the wounds in peace.
So I sit back and reevaluate my reaction. BOUNDARIES I NEED BOUNDARIES.
So if someone tells me I am wrong, I look for both sides. Hear the other person, see where my fault is. My thoughts held captive, I am held captive in loving arms of Christ as He allows me to see my fault, my old way. He holds me tightly as I experience the pain of this old way being uprooted from my spirit.
defensiveness, anger, rejection, guilt, shame, abandonment
His gentle embrace encompasses me and I trust, but there is nothing gentle about it. I am afraid, breathing through the fear, getting back to trust, getting back to courage. I am in agreement. I want this thing out. RELEASE. In the name of Christ it is removed.
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